What if

we could store glucose in our tear glands?

Think about it, that way when you cry you can taste something sweet and feel better faster .-.

As a side note, pinafores are hella cute and if you think otherwise I can’t help but pity you, for you are a fool ú_ù

I have 3 packs of ketchup in my left pocket and can’t remember why for the life of me

I want a wife that is willing to wrestle with me on a regular basis so the kids never know when the “uh, no sweetie, mommy and daddy are only wrestling” thing is a lie.

This particular new year feels like this bomb blowing in Europe with an expansive wave that is slowly reaching America :|

You know, there once was a time when I looked up to dragons. They were imposing, intimidating, awe-inspiring; the epitome of final boses.

But then someone had to go and say: “you know what? dildos!”

( /)_-)