Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
j5h:
imagine having sex with a ghost and then someone walks into your room and they see your asshole widening and narrowing for no reason
imagine praying to God and going to church
why does dennys have a tumblr
why do you
(Source: nymphodeces, via not-the-conversation-starter)
When I start to get emotional I immediately think “I’m so gay” and this is because straight people actually don’t have emotions
this is false and heterophobic. straight people have a panorama of emotions including:
- outrage
- jealousy
- Situational Benevolence (aka “don’t fight hate w/ hate”)
- sports
- umami, the “Fifth Emotion”
- TGIF
(via transsalamander)
Today’s cishet character of the day is:
Tracer from Overwatch.
(via firesuperstar)
How to start a fight in any pub in Britain:
Say “chip cob”
what the fuck is a chip cob?
*chip butty
if you put chips in a cob it becomes a butty, everyone knows that
Ok what the fuck is a chip butty?
The wrong name for a chip cob
I am so glad George Washington told y'all to fuck of so I don’t gotta participate in whatever this BS is
(via sakimcgee)
Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS ICONIC POST IN SCREENSHOTS
HOLY SHIT IT’S REAL
(Source: picapixels, via micchy-did-nothing-wrong)
the-boy-with-the-kaiju-tattoos:
when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.
You could finish him or finish him
Yahoo paid 1.1 billion for this
(via crunchie-roll)
when u dont know if ur ocs backstory is really cliched or not
IT TOOK ME A MINTUE TO REALIZE THIS IS A FACE AND NOT THREE BLUNTS
(Source: minagoroshi-archive, via i-cant-name-me-deactivated20161)
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
wee snaw
snaw wee
you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn’t want war. but i didn’t start it.
(Source: wokebaedannyelfman, via )
oh you had a bad day???????? WELL 2014 years ago the dinosaurs went instinct on this very day. think before u speak
…..sweetheart, I think you are mistaken.
listen sweetie(: im a dinosaur scientist i know what i’m talking about
(Source: reinasof, via maybeiwasserious)