mustardelbow:

catswithbenefits:

my goal in life is to be as cool as nick from jimmy neutron  

he looks like a mexican sasuke

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

unit03:

kingkitsu:

smoothierox:

ifollowbadblogs:

“you’re an adult now”

“you need to choose a career”

“you need to make your own doctor’s appointment”

“your meat is huge and you look good as hell”

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

christmas drinking game

eggnogf:

eggnogf:

take a shit every time someone is opening presents and says “i got A box! yay!”

THIS HAS BEEN GETTING NOTES ALL DAY AND I ONLY JUST LEARNED THAT THIS SAYS SHIT AND NOT SHOT

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

haemus:

astrology says my pussy is tight

(via clairclairsky)

chazberry:

softconnor:

mangohue:

@ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened

if you think i’m gonna eat frozen toothpaste you are Mistaken 

this forces me to believe that you’ve either never had mint ice cream or have never brushed your teeth

(via raikissu)

loloman23:

slimetony:

doomybot:

slimetony:

missyhumes:

dongboss:

cuckroach:

you know when you’re rubbing your eye and hit the g spot n it makes you go blind for a couple seconds

yeah if I don’t rub my eye I cant cum

Stopppppp

I am so sick of you two

I’ll make this quick:.

Doomybot don’t do it!!! They’re just kids!!

it;s for the best

(Source: jokeboy, via timurmurtazin)

conksucker:

oncelerswaifu:

when i become a serial killer ill leave tapes that have mmm whatcya say in the mouth’s of all my victims

when

(Source: traumadotwav, via timurmurtazin)

atheistjapanesesocialist:

burdmom:

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

My roommate and his girlfriend got in the shower together and they’re… Talking about politics?

I was expecting to hear “OH GOD, HARDER,” not “George Washington was entirely correct in his prediction of what distinct parties would do to politics as a whole.”

Nope nevermind, there it is, apparently political debate is just their form of foreplay

STOP REBLOGGING THIS HE HAS A TUMBLR

They fucking killed him

(via timurmurtazin)

thathomestar:

krogan-age:

thathomestar:

imagine if you were a CIA agent infiltrating an enemy country and you encountered a man who shots bees at you while doing cartwheels

Is this the plot to the next James Bond movie, or is this a Bloodborne boss i don’t know about?

(via owny-chan)