The Circle of Schadenfreude not only compels but demands that you not only laugh upon first sight of your friends’ unlucky moments, but that you also be upfront about your own so they can laugh in return.
Enjoy mockery. Be friends.
Be mockery. Enjoy friends.
i’m such an asshole but i’m also a very kind-hearted person who likes making ppl happy and if i love you i will love you with all my heart and all my soul but then i’m also such an asshole
(via wicked-thornes)
I’m the nicest rude person you’ll ever meet, I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time I care about a lot, I hate people but I develop crushes easily, I hate myself but at the same time I’m completely fabulous.
Happy people annoy me.
Not because I don’t grant them happiness but because I feel being happy without having anything in particular to be happy about decreases from the joy when something does happen.
Or maybe I’m just a brooding little pessimist.
I’d rather have a higher average amplitude than the occasional spike
But the spikes are the best.
Like a concentrated infusion of joy.
Or an orgasm.
Or an even better analogy.
Spikes keep people away, they won’t want to touch that.

Or at least shouldn’t.

I LOOKED UP CACTUS PUNS
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
BUT YOU GUYS CACTI IS PLURAL AND CACTUS IS THE SINGULAR FORM SO THEY’RE LITERALLY SAYING THEY’RE READY TO BE SINGLE YOU GUYS ARE FAWNING OVER THE CRUMBLING RELATIONSHIP OF DESERT FLORA
Plot twist of my life
Or maybe they’re just saying they want to be one <3
(via coconeru)
BPS Occupational Digest: Starting negative may help you be creative →
So you see, I do have a reason for being a prick to people B/

