grim-the-pony-reaper: 914 yen please

Item Description: 12 oz. box of Milk Bone dog treats. Assorted poultry flavors: turkey, duck, geese and chicken.

karosiv-the-aura-rose: 1 badly damaged, filthy, old (but still valid) Yen.

Item Description: One rotten porkchop, raw.

adurot: 10 yen, then 10 yen, then finally 10 yen again in three successive purchases.

Your phrasing is inefficient, get back to school.

Item #1: Single stale end piece of white bread, no packaging. 

Item #2: Small white package with the Manna Charitable Foundation logo containing 10 grams of SCP-1615.

Item #3: 10 popped popcorn kernels. Buttered, no salt.

ask-lola-cloudmaker: I have a 1000 yen. How much do I need to insert to get a loaf of delicious bread? :v

It dispenses at random, you never know what it’ll be -.-

Item description: “Bag O’Dix” a small bag containing 20 gummies in the shape of human male genitalia. A caricature of two men in German depicts one of them saying “Choke on it!!” as the other eats one, apparently asphixiating.

Testing shows the gummies immediatelly expand upon entering the mouth, which if eaten whole obstruct the throat for half a minute before returning to normal size and continuing descent through esophagus.

micchy-did-nothing-wrong: 314 yen

Item description: 300ml pint with sealed lid of Guinness stout.

endarkculi: ¥500

Item Description: A box of SCP-1916. Of note is the fact that the “Planet X” flavor has been replaced with a “Limited edition: Shooting Star” flavor unit. Testing on this new flavor pending approval.

whatevenisaquid: Let's go with my b-day. 725¥ into the magic vending machine.

Item description: “[REDACTED]’s Bakery - Bona Fide Hagelslag”, a light-brown box containing two slices of white bread and two small plastic bags with chocolate sprinkles. Labelling in Dutch translates as “You fuckin make it then™, if you’re so god damn smart”.

Anonymous: Hey, could we try running one of 261's cans of STOP through 914 on 1:1?

Input: One (1) red aluminum can labelled “Stop That” in big block letters. Loud buzzing heard from within can as if coming from a large, angry insect.

Setting: 1:1

Output:  One (1) orange tin can labelled “Can you not” in big block letters. Loud scratching and growling heard from within can as if coming from a small, angry mammal. Can was not opened. 

funfetti-cakke-talks: 38 yen

Money entered: 38 yen
Item description: Pack of 2 kueh tutu pieces on pandan leaves. No labeling.

omegaresnovae: 500 Yen, please.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: One “Wonka” chocolate bar, with cashews. Package in French depicts a caricature of one “Wally Wonka” Wrapping contained a winning “Golden Ticket” for a tour of the factory on August 12th, 1942.

Despite the dating, the chocolate itself was not expired.