Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
Anonymous: do you still do teh SCP thing? :V
261 or 914?
Fuckit I’ll flip a coin.
Aaaand pan-dimensional vending is go.
Drop some yen in the askbox while I go draw a thing - .-
Output: Two large metallic orbs, cobalt colored. There appears to be mechanical parts inside them. Touching them causes a strong sound of shattering glass to come from the inside, followed by sounds of many gears grinding together. After 10 seconds, the grinding stops and then a new touch triggers the exact same process once more.
After 3 touches, the grinding started displaying erratic noises, as if one or more of the gears had been displaced. After 2 more touches, the grinding stopped alltogether and after one more touch the spheres cracked open, revealing all the clockwork inside to be also cracked into pieces.
Money entered: 500 yen
Item description: Bag of “Doritos” wheat chips, nacho cheese.
Money entered: 2500 yen
Item description: “Max-P” a spray can containing 900 ml of a liquid with taste simmilar to Pepsi brand cola, with a slight hint of citrus. Package in Korean.
Spraying it into the mouth of test subject D-62132 not only revealed the taste, but apparently alleviated her of a slight gum infection. Further testing confirmed that the liquid was able to disinfect and accelerate healing process even outside the mouth of test subjects, with the flavor still being tasted no matter where it was applied.
Output: A cylindrical white device resembling a remote control, apart from a lack of physical buttons, which are instead projected in a touch-sensitive surface. One of the ends is rounded up and smooth, while the other is smooth yet flat and when handled it changes into a varying hue of red. The device seems to operate using a highly compressed battery made of an unknown material, which can be recharged by absorbing static electricity released from objects coming into contact with the device.
When the red end is aimed at a person within 3 meters from the device and the buttons touched, a varying amount of endorphines is released, bodily temperature raises, and other physiological responses corresponding to sexual arousal responses respective to the biological sex of the subject become apparent. All test subjects were able to reach climax after exposure during varying lenghts of time.
The endorphine rush may render the subject unable to operate normally, but only to the predicted level respective to their body capabilities. Going farther away than the 3 meter mark reduces the strength of the effects, and getting closer doesn’t seem to affect it. Obstacles able to block high frequency electromagnetic waves (of about 100PHz) seem to be the only way to protect a subject from the device’s effects.
Notes: “Due to a substantial amount of continuous testing, we were able to discern a lot of this thing’s properties. Maybe researchers enjoyed ‘testing’ with this thing a bit too much.” - Site Director E. Gere.
She’d see the mirror as changed beyond recognition, in a way that at the least makes seeing her reflection impossible.
Any section of a mirror, broken or not, that can reflect an image can be considered a norm. As such, to diverge from the norm, something like dismatling it, painting the entire surface black, it gaining anomalous properties that [DATA EXPUNGED]; now those are examples of shit she’d see in a mirror.
It’s kindof a self-censoring power on herself, if you may.
Anonymous: One (1) Italian longsword, circa 1500-1550, setting Fine
I’ll just describe output from now on, the first part is redundant - .-
Output: One (1) scimitar. Carbon dating indicates its origin as early as the 1510′s, the place of origin cannot be determined.
Addendum-914-GH12: Upon closer inspection of SCP-914′s output booth, by use of a [DATA EXPUNGED] to scan the air inside it, a swarm of nanometric insectoid organisms was found suspended in the air. These appear to follow the scimitar wherever it goes, and someohow manage to alter the trajectory of proyectiles aimed at it’s weilder no matter what the momentum of these is.
Notes: Researcher mythic-swirl must be commended for bringing up the lack of an upgrade in the resulting item. A customary pat on the head and dog treat is in order. - Dr. ███████
“With all due respect to professor Crow, maybe we should adopt a different reward system for non-canid members of staff.” - Site Director E. Gere.
Anonymous: How about a paper with a high quality drawing of SCP-914 on it, set to super fine?
Input: One full-size copy of a ███x███cm schematic of SCP-914′s outer appearance, drawn by SCP-887*
Setting: VERY Fine.
Output: A 10x12cm piece of paper with a black rectangular smudge. Microscopic analysis reveals the smudge to be comprised of an intricate array of screw drives, belts, pulleys, gears, springs and other clockwork, suspected to be the same drawing as entered. The machinery depicted appears to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Cross-testing with SCP-085 forbidden by O5.
*There are approximately ████ additional [DATA EXPUNGED] containing simmilar schematics drawn by SCP-887, but due to limited comprehension of the inner workings of SCP-914, only the mentioned part of the scematic could be decoded and assembled into a single image.
Output: A survival knife with an intricate circuitry inside its handle. When grabbed, the music piece can be heard in a 5 meter radius of the blade.
Source of the sound cannot be located.
Input: Nice glasses.
Setting: Very Fine.
Output: A pair of contact lenses with the same properties SCP-558-3 possesses, although these are not green in coloration, instead being clear to the naked eye, but testing indicates they have a color that can only be perceived by the wearer.