Anonymous: bad puns to tell my crush


bombing:

  • are you a parking ticket? the future terrifies me
  • when was the last time you took your vitamins?
  • 44
  • i’m a thousand years old 
  • we could make it if we really tried 
  • can we play some drake? i’m going to play some drake 
  • i killed my parents and they deserved it
  • enough to break the ice in tennessee 
  • i want to die
  • blue crab larvae are incredibly vulnerable to jellyfish
  • i think about you more than i’d ever admit 
  • i threw up on the way here 

94,774 notes2 years ago

(via abarnath)

31,611 notes2 years ago

Hot things to say in the bedroom

official-jet-set-radio:

  • “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”
  • “JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE”
  • “I got you in my sights”
  • “MOLTEN CORE!”
  • “It’s High Noon.”
  • 竜が我が敵を喰らう!
  • “Hammer Down!”
  • “Oh, let’s break it DOWN!”
  • “BAHAHAHAHA. *cough*”
  • “Pass, into the iris.”
  • “Nerf this!”
  • “No one can hide from my sight.”
  • “*CALVARY CHARGE BEEPING*”
  • “Teleporter online!”
  • 身を捨てても、名利は捨てず!
  • “ Огонь по готовности”
  • “Gotcha!”
  • “*ANGRY GORILLA NOISES*
  • “ 冻住,不许走! “
  • “DIE DIE DIE.”

(via funfetti-cakke)

16,623 notes2 years ago

(Source: perishit, via abarnath)

4,341 notes2 years ago

(Source: sucka99, via abarnath)

169,712 notes2 years ago

pmon3y69:

Surprise her

(Source: carbonatedmustard, via not-the-conversation-starter)

28,937 notes2 years ago

variou-very:

restarci:

titanusgigantus:

kamiyu910:

hullodearie:

I had to. Source

image

image

Are humans even real

Accurate

reblogging again bc if you, like me, love to send annoying bullshit to your friends i wrote down a version to copy and paste so you dont have to do what i did 

“Hey [name]! You sure seem sweet. What’s a girl like you up to these days? You know, like how you doin? Hopfully your havin a great time. You know, like livin life to the fullest. Amiright?? Anyway get back at this lil guy if you feel like shooting the talky talky. Amirighr or amirigjt baby!! ?? Well totes magotes baby chilli flake. Sizzlin spitter and sputter and spicy and spatter. Anyways baby. Totes magotes messege baby chilli flake.. lates magnates .”

(Source: tea-n-whiskey, via frostedpuffs)

114,267 notes3 years ago
barriz99:
“ And they say romance is dead
”

barriz99:

And they say romance is dead

(Source: slaybbgurl, via crunchie-roll)

406,813 notes3 years ago