I would buy a recipie book laden with dittoprize’s swearing. It’d get me pumped everytime I put on the apron!

Also, check out “What the Fuck Should I Have for Dinner”. I think they got published!

Coming soon to a book store near you:

Cooking for Fucking Morons

(Near you if you’re European, that is. Otherwise, too bad, ya twat. Guess you’re not learning how to cook. Guess you’re starving to death. Ohhh no.)

Featuring amazing recipes such as

• a cake filled with a fuckload of bananas
• a banana filled with a fuckload of cake
• the kind of vegetable that counts as a fire hazard
• the salad that causes diabetes
• the candy that cures diabetes
• the soufflé that rises straight through your ceiling, thus causing a shitton of property damage but nevertheless you still feel it was worth it because holy shit that thing was delicious
• edible shit, to serve to people who you think should eat shit. (may contain traces of shit)
• chicken that tastes like strawberries
• dynamite flambé
• some actual recipes that ditto uses in her day-job as a chef in a restaurant
• a lifetime prison sentence for poisoning your boss, who came over to have a friendly dinner and talk about your future
• the gordon-ramsay-wet-dream apple fritter
• a correctly peeled banana
• haggis that tastes like ass
• but all haggis tastes like ass
• aye, but in the right hands it can taste like some mighty fine ass
• humpty dumpty’s violently assaulted corpse
• a scarf made using chopsticks
• boy-attracting milkshakes
• dogs so hot they are literally on fire
• the edible swan ice sculpture (may contain actual swan)

ORDER NOW OR GET PUNCHED IN THE DICK