Pancakes are wonderfully substantive, mouth-watering flatbread delights. They can withstand an onslaught of butter, jams, jellies and assorted syrups and still maintain their delicious fluffiness.

Hotcakes, on the other hand, are limp and lifeless pieces of rubbery flour/water compost. When put under the slightest amount of condiments or pressure from a utensil, the hotcake loses its form entirely.

The joke is that I’m a piece of shit cook ok -.-