dave

can you imagine dave. he’s just sitting there all stoic like he usually is and suddenly out of goddamn nowhere he lets out this goddamn hell-shriek of “CHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” that sounds like a choir of banshees getting anally fisted and theres not one goddamn warning and his snot is goddamn everywhere and its terrible

And that is exactly how he would describe it. There are veritable tears in my eyes from reading that.