Y'all have,,, NO idea how much I want a pizza rn. It is taking all of my willpower to save my money and not order one this instant to celebrate getting stuff done today
late-stage capitalism is i want pizza but congress won’t buy me one
wait I haven’t tried
I’m gonna call my congressman and see
Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,
I’m gonna ask my governor now and tell him Cruz said it was out of his jurisdiction so he’ll feel all important. dude sued the city and is richer than god he can afford a pizza
HDGJDFHGJ SOMEONE PICKED UP,,, this is how it went:
Me: Hello, I would like to request an audience with Governor Abbott
Secretary: I’m sorry. I can relay a message and have him get back to you in a call or email.
Me: Okay, thanks! Due to some recent changes and current economic disparity in Texas, I’ve calculated that Gov. Abbott makes enough a year to buy over 10,000 pizzas, for example. As a display of his claims to make efforts towards rebuilding the middle class, all I ask is that he buy me one single pizza.
Secretary: *incredulous laugh/scoff noise*
Me: That’s less than 0.0001% of his salary, not even taking his enormous wealth into consideration, and will affect my voting decision next election cycle. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/quinintheclouds
Secretary: …I’ll let him know.
Secretary: *Hangs up*
None of them bought me a pizza. Guess you could say they crust my dreams :((