The real reason it’s a fucking travesty Peter Parker is “straight” is that he would have a fucking field day making gay jokes. Imagine Spiderman wit mixed with millennial gay humour. He’d be unstoppable
[Criminal, or Steve. Or someone] give it to me straight. Why is some kid swinging around and beating up people in Queens?
[Peter] First of all, nothing I do is straight.
[Villain punches him]
[Peter] this is homophobia.
[Someone. Probably Tony] he said nothing about gay people, though?
[Peter] but he hit me. So again. Homophobia.
[Tony] you could not have picked a worse time to come out of the closet.
[Peter] bold of you to assume I was ever in the closet to begin with. I’ve been giving off Chaotic Twink Energy my whole damn life.
Aunt may: so why can’t you get your driver’s license again??
Peter: I’m???? Gay????
The real Marvel villains here are gays whose only joke is saying “i’m gay” over and over
Small dick energy
Thank heaven this didn’t become a thing
Ugh these people make us look bad
I’d like to know why that cartoon captures 90% of every tumblr fandom.
God this post is fucking foul
One half of this post: “Lmao this is such a stupid idea but let’s make Peter Parker of all people hypothetically lgbt for no reason other than the puns and have fun with it and not take it completely seriously.”
The ‘other half’ of this post: “FUCK YOU, I’VE TAKEN THIS COMPLETELY SERIOUSLY AND AS A SELF NOMINATED BUZZKILL YOU GUYS AREN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN ANYMORE. YOU’RE RUINING MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER WHO ISN’T ALLOWED TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN 100% CANNON.”
im acc dying this post is a riot and I love it thank you OP
The reason people are so upset is because it’s taking a complex and interesting character and making them ‘Gay ™’, which isn’t the same as gay. ‘Gay ™’ is what Tumblr thinks gay people actually act like, being sassy and sarcastic and making lots of sex-based jokes and puns
It’s insultingly homophobic coming from a group of people so desperate to be accepting of homosexuality they’ve curve-balled right around into overcompensating to the point of stereotyping
Here’s Peter Parker as a heterosexual man
Peter: “Hi, I’m Peter Parker.”
Here’s Peter Parker if he was gay
Peter: “Hi, I’m Peter Parker.”
Did you notice how there was literally no difference between the two?
Because being gay is not a fucking personality trait. You don’t realise you’re gay and suddenly become a sass-master full of red-hot burns to drop on them nasty heteros.