
Me when I stutter on the phone during a business call
Me when i ask for real spicy and not white people spicy
Me when I step in a puddle and I feel the water penetrate my socks
Me when my friend’s 90 pound dog stomps on my nuts
Me when h– wait, what?
Oh! I’m sorry! I misheard. I thought you said “Me when my friend’s dog stomps on my 90 pound nuts.”
If i had 90 pound nuts do you think i’d be here? Clowning in this shit hole? I’d have a house of gold. A car of jewels. Lingerie forged with meteorite and silver coins. Dont be so naieve
(via insanelyfriendlybear)
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