Shit my wife has said after I said “I love you.”:

shitmygaywifesays:

- I’m sorry, what was that? I was thinking of chicken tenders.

- (from the other room) Not my problem!!!!!

- Is this a trick question?

- That’s weird. It’s like a weird looking dog. You want it around, you still want to pet it, but it’s still a weird looking dog. 

- (just stares at me. Just fuckin’ stares for like a full minute, full eye contact)

- nnnnnNNNNNeeh!!

- Well, uh. I guess you bought me dinner.

- That’s your mistake.

- You know what, bitch???? I love you too. I find you sexually appealing.

- I love you more, you absolute titty whore.

(via endarkculi)