Me, an artificer with less than great ideas and an untested weapon: “How many books can I take?”

DM: “Uhhh like 5, why?”

Me, taking the books: “Gotta fire something from my cannon, right?”

DM, in visible pain: “I’m sorry what”

Me: “Those who say ‘sticks and stones… have obviously never had a dictionary flying at them at terminal velocity’”