yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: We’re all playing for the first time at our local game store, and one of the players is playing a Wizard, who believes it is wrong to use magic to hurt people.

Wizard: ‘Alright, and I’m gonna cast Web at the two pirates in front of me.’
DM: ‘Okay and they… *roll* both fail their reflex saves. They’re entangled in sticky web.’

*the rest of the round plays out.

Wizard: ‘Mmkay, I pull out my greatclub and approach the pirate nearest me.
DM: ‘I’m sorry you pull out your what???’
Wizard: ‘My greatclub. My beatin’ stick.’
Me: ‘I thought your character was a pacifist!’
Wizard: ‘No, that’s not what I said. He thinks its wrong to use magic to hurt people. He does NOT think it’s wrong to use magic to hold people down while he beats them to death with a big stick.’

We all look at his character sheet, see the 18 strength score and see that he just wrote down ‘The Mageinator’ as his character’s name. He had the most confirmed kills for that campaign.

(via funfetti-cakke)