NoFap Power level chart

zog-agent:
7 days - levitation powers start kicking in, can float ~2-3 inches off the ground for around 5 seconds
14 days - invisibility, only for a split second though
30 days - weak laser eyes, like when rob in ssb does his b move but doesnt have it charged
33 days - memorize all maoist china anthems
40 days - if you play csgo your dick becomes a gun
69 days – unspent semen becomes nanomachines
6 months – choose one of three skill trees: fighter, gunner, swordsman. Every week after choosing adds a skill point
1 year – ability to rig elections, win elections without popular vote
2 years – poopoo and peepee is recycled into power
3 years – lose all body hair for sleeker future human aesthetics
4 years – can reorganize library books without looking at barcodes
5 years - can shoot lasers out your eyes like really good
6 years - ability to eat soda cans and gain 5 cent refund
7 years - everything from vending machines free
7.5 years - shoplifting is not a crime
8 years - Open envelopes undetected, steal mail whenever you want
9 years - spawn purple hoverboards from your ankles
10 years - noclip
11 years - powerful
12 years - able to beat monkey ball 1 and 2 no deaths
13 years - don’t have to replace your tires, rotate on their own
14 years - any t shirt you can think of can appear in front of you at any time
15 years - asexual reproduction, males only, exclusively autistic (very powerful)
16 years - calling someone a “poopy boy” will make them commit suicide (dont abuse)
17 years - no oil change
18 years - extra dick
20 years - ability to say nigga in rooms with black people (no hard r)
21 years - feet become permanent heelies
22 years - hhgreg membership
23 years - get a soda stream
24 years - access to all YMCA locker storage which acts as an ender chest
25 years - can moderate my chatroom
26 years - moist socks instantly become dry
27 years - no sweating in sauna rooms
28 years: memorize quran backwards
29 years - bread becomes toast in a fingersnap
30 years - shapeshift into youtube e-celebs
31 years - become raywilliamjohnson
32 years - go back to 19
33 years - use pipes as transport like in mario
34 years - za warudo
34.5 years stuck in home alone rp chat for a year
35 years - no more black people
36: stuck on karachi map from mw2 until you atone for your daughters sins
37: pass out on discord
35: 34.5 but longer
36: roblox admin
37: cant get mad
38: eat ass but it tastes good
39: become allergic to gluten
40: bread hands
41: bread hands forever, you’re allergic to your hands
42: copy of ape escape 2
43: become an ape from ape escape
44: respect report becomes good
45: can only listen report episode 1
46: all audio to your brain becomes respect report episode 1
47: you dont get sad when people call you gay
48: watch a good anime
49: enjoy a cold horchata
50: respect women….a LOT
83: shitting asmr is trendy in low hanging pantsed youth
84 YMCA lifetime membership
87 all gays talk like yogi bear

100:

That horchata is real tempting :/

(via timurmurtazin)