facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

hobgoblinhero:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Friendly reminder that you have no right to call yourself an American citizen until you’ve shat out at least one bald eagle.

What if you shat it out overseas?

No American would ever be caught overseas. Trust me I know this, I’m so American that I shit eagles for breakfast.

It is very painful and not at all nourishing as a breakfast should be.

somebody help me

(via not-the-conversation-starter)