Jerusalem “Pokémon Go” Player Finds Ark Of The Covenant

facts-i-just-made-up:

charlesoberonn:

facts-i-just-made-up:

July 8th 2016 - Mordechai Benjamin of Jerusalem was playing Pokémon Go when he entered an abandoned temple in an attempt to capture a shiny Magcargo. Inside the temple, he almost immediately stumbled upon what was unmistakably the Ark of the Covenant.

“It was amazing, I was shocked. Never did I expect to find anything so important but there I was, in its presence, a shiny Magcargo!” said Mordechai, “I screencapped it immediately and when I showed my brother he was like, ‘What’s that behind it?’ and I said ‘Who cares?’ but he recognized it and told the Givat Ram museum guys.”

The museum officials were also shocked when they saw the picture. Said archaeologist Martin Schlemiel, “This is the find of a lifetime, no question. Magcargo isn’t that rare but to find a shiny one just like that is unheard of in Go, at least so far. I hoped that Mordechai would be willing to trade as it really belongs in a museum, but in the end we settled for the Ark and I think it was the right thing to do. I wish him the best.”

The Ark of the Covenant was indeed found to contain the original ten commandments, which glow with an unearthly golden fire. Shiny Magcargo by contrast glows with a purple flame instead of the usual red. Said Talmudic scholar Yitzchak Solomon, “The Talmud explains that while a shiny Slugma is just plain grey, this rarest Magcargo in fact shines purple and Rashi deems the find worthy of using a Neshef Melech, or ‘Master Ball’ to capture.”

Archaeologists in the region are now trying to use Pokémon Go players to find the Holy Grail, but have thus far found only Zubats. More details will appear on FIJMU as they arrive.

I know this is fake because Pokemon GO is not even out in Israel yet.

I never said Israel. The Ark of the Covenant was discovered in Jerusalem, NY.

(via omegaresnovae)