Asked and answered on May 22nd, 2015.

I got the warnings, not only from this anon but also a tumblr user whose name I already forgot. I saw the fallacies, I knew of the previous lies, I understood the risk of keeping going this way.

And yet I told them to not worry, to let me enjoy the moment, to let me fool myself. To be happy.

I was expecting this day, and expecting it to never happen.
Thinking how to deal with it when the time came, a time I did not want to come.
I was prepared. I did not want to be prepared, I was happy.

For that, I thank you.