chefpyro:

chefpyro:

chefpyro:

It’s interesting to me when someone dies and their Wikipedia page almost immediately becomes past tense. Who does that? Is that someone’s job? Is it the grim reaper?

I walk into the bank with an open laptop and tell them to give me all the money in the vault, or else I edit Bill Murray’s Wikipedia page. 12 SWAT guys come in and shoot me in the nuts when I ask the teller what the WiFi password is

sHIT

(via ladyfubuki)

celticpyro:

raphaeliscoolbutrude:

writing-prompt-s:

“In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing the ‘Good’ side?”

Because being mean makes me feel bad.

(via demilypyro)

ask-oncies-jizz:

pipistrellus:

Hey you know that really disturbing thing where you yawn and your salivary gland shoots a concentrated spray of saliva out of one of its horrid nozzles like you’re a venom spitting snake for some godawful reason

this is the most distressing post ive ever read because not only have i never once seen or even heard of this but there are dozens of people in the notes reaffirming it with shit like “yeah i do that all the time” “i had a friend who could do this on command” what the real, genuine fucking fuck

(via timurmurtazin)

queens-bees:

theemotionmachine:

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time…

…and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, “would you like my opinion of your work?”

“Yes,” says the artist.

“It’s worthless,” says the critic.

The artist replies, “I know, but tell me anyway.”

fuken savage

(via lecter108)