Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
Children playing with Barbies in media: “This is Sally. She’s the mommy. She loves fashion, swimming, and she drives a convertible! She has a baby with Ken and sometimes they kiss.” OR “Look, I ripped Barbie’s head off! Ha ha ha! I’m a boy.”
Children playing with Barbies in real life: “This is Aurora, the fallen goddess of the sky. She has been banished from her kingdom and bound to a mortal body by her sister, who rose to power by human sacrifices. She now leads an army of cannibal water spirits who eat men. Sometimes they have orgies. They dismembered a traitor and keep her head on a Popsicle stick as a warning to others. Aurora can turn into a wolf and uses battle magic to paralyze her enemies. The king of the stuffed animals developed rabies and she had to slay him to save his people, but they do not understand that it was an act of mercy and kindness and are sending assassins after her for regicide. This is Aurora’s soulmate, Crystal, but her soul is trapped in a gemstone while an evil spirit pilots her body and attempts to murder her friends.”
(via dangerousbride)
most important thing to know about canon nepeta tbh
Murder noises
She is ADORABLE.
Reminder that one of the flashes had Nepeta and Equius talking about their relationship, with Equius feeling guilty that he didn’t contribute anything to their relationship even though Nepeta did so much for him.
Her reaction was basically “The only thing stopping me from killing millions with my bare hands and living in the wild as a feral creature is the absurdly strict rules you made me live by. THAT IS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.”
(via timurmurtazin)
christmas drinking game
take a shit every time someone is opening presents and says “i got A box! yay!”
THIS HAS BEEN GETTING NOTES ALL DAY AND I ONLY JUST LEARNED THAT THIS SAYS SHIT AND NOT SHOT
