i found out recently that the very first trees did not rot when they died because the microbes that decompose trees hadnt evolved yet…which makes sense but it’s weird to think about. this actually caused a huge change in the climate at the time and many of these trees turned into coal because of it…
like imagine a tree falling in the forest and the trunk just stays there for years and years with little change, and it only goes away when it is buried under dirt. that’s weird.
obviously they were still working on the worldbuilding back then
imagine all the lag from those trunks laying around. glad they patched those microbes in
So, I’m in a campaign where everyone starts as level 0 commoners and we all flail around trying not to die horribly for as long as possible. Somehow, amidst all this carnage, an unexpected hero joined us.
DM: you are ambushed by three angry Gnolls. What do you do?
Dwarf herder (me): *looks through inventory* wait…I have a sow?
DM: Yep. You’re a herder.
Herder: Imma try and get her to attack the Gnolls.
*rolls a d20 and gets an 18*
DM: ok, she attacks. Roll a d4 for damage.
Herder: *rolls 4*
DM:….your pig kills the Gnoll.
Herder: I’m naming this sow Suzan the Battle Pig. Good job, Suzan!
~~~~later~~~~
Herder: *dies by another angry Gnoll*
Me: wait, can Suzan still fight?
DM: roll persuasion to see if your other character can convince her to help.
Me: *rolls nat20*
DM: Suzan is filled with rage and discovers an insatiable hunger for Gnoll flesh. She now attacks with a d6.
Suzan: *kills the remaining Gnoll boss and Gnoll magician*
Me: Suzan is gonna eat the Gnolls
DM:…ok, she eats the big one and gains 5XP and one point of luck. She’s too full to eat the other one.
Me: Suzan carries the magic Gnoll with her.
~~~~one short rest later~~~~
Me: can Suzan eat her Gnoll now?
DM:….oh right, you did say you carried that. Sure.
As Suzan eats the magic Gnoll, she feels a rush of magical energy in her mind. Her brain is rebuilt by this magic so that she has….
*rolls d20 and gets a 15*
Oh, for fu–Suzan has 15 intelligence now and the ability to cast spells. Congratulations.
Anonymous: I love how you draw the pokegirls using Jumpers. Jumpers are truly the best school uniform
