Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
Painting Thief
Our party consists of a wood elf druid (me), a goliath orc barbarian, a half tiefling half human barbarian named Leif Erikson (no relation), a tiefling paladin, and a tiefling warlock. I just royally screwed up by entangling orphans who stole our gold in an impoverished city. An angry mob stormed the town general’s office to have them hang me. The paladin somehow convinced the army general that we did not do anything wrong and to give us our payment for the jobs we did. On the way out of his office this happens…
Leif Erikson ooc to the DM: Are there any paintings in his office?
DM (confusedly): There’s a really shitty painting of a landscape nailed into the wall next to the exit?
Leif ooc: Perfect, I rip it out of the wall.
DM: You do so, taking some of the wall with it.
Town General: What are you doing?! That’s vandalism!!!
Leif: Honey, have you SEEN this painting?! THAT’S vandalism! I’m doing you a favor!
DM: roll a persuasion check
Leif: *gets a nat 20*
*Whole table loses it*
DM: First of all, you get inspiration for that.
Town General: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I guess I’ll let you take it since nobody has ever entertained me like that before.
And that’s the story of how we got a shitty painting for our caravan.
(via kalianos)
My Fair Maid Marian. ♥
(My very old OC based off Maid Marian from Robin Hood)
(via endarkculi)
You find out that your significant other is an eldritch horror, that has ultimately been trying to steal your soul by getting you to trust it. However, as it got to know you, it began to bond with you, and no longer wants to steal your soul. How do you react? Do you proceed with the relationship, or leave the creature?
bitch this is the dream scenario
(via funfetti-cakke)
