sexycontainmentprocedures:

I can’t believe the Foundation turned down my job application AGAIN. In the “why do you desire this job” field, I put “need to get laid and bored of humans”, and my resume was printed on 84-pound pearlescent ivory cardstock. I don’t understand what went wrong 

(via sexycontainmentprocedures)

sexycontainmentprocedures:

*sticks head in the entrance of the Keter-level containment wing during a breach* you guys need anything? some snacks? a condom? let me know,

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moxperidot:

thighhigh socks are powerful equipment that grant +10 confidence and +4 warmth

(via inuleeli)

trilllizard666:

Me: “Oh yeah, I remember that game. It came out like three years ago.”

Wikipedia: “Release Date: 2005″

Me:

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