A very subtle rogue

yourplayersaidwhat:

*party had to break into a bank to steal a safety deposit box*

Rogue: Hello, I would like to open up an account

Teller: okay, can i get your name and whether this will be a business account or a private account?

Rogue: Sure, my name is Robert Indie Banks

DM OOC after a beat of silence: Are you fucking using Rob Indie Banks as an alias for a character whose going to be robbing the bank?

(via silver-tongues-blog)

3,954 notes1 year ago

caffeinatedtim:

the justice league put on a scavenger hunt for the kids from the children’s cancer center of metropolis and it added 12 years to my life

(Source: twinkothydrake, via micchy-did-nothing-wrong)

73,463 notes1 year ago

(Source: haineki, via timurmurtazin)

219,861 notes1 year ago
liteee:
“Awaiting Spring
”

liteee:

Awaiting Spring

(via neonchurro)

12,148 notes1 year ago

thyrell:

thyrell:

a necromancer is just a really late healer

“you’re too late, doc, he’s…he’s already dead…”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

(via sakimcgee)

377,063 notes1 year ago
knoggart:
“Day 4 - Ghost
When Dhelmise used Anchor Shot on me and one shot one of my pokemon I knew this was a match made in heaven. Named them Woodkid for appearing right when I put them on to listen to B)
”

knoggart:

Day 4 - Ghost

When Dhelmise used Anchor Shot on me and one shot one of my pokemon I knew this was a match made in heaven. Named them Woodkid for appearing right when I put them on to listen to B)

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

944 notes1 year ago
lordfeederdinkle:
“ thebuttkingpost:
“ Larry the cucumber? Also a fruit
Yeah
Berries my dude
Both of them
This conspiracy goes deep
” ”

lordfeederdinkle:

thebuttkingpost:

Larry the cucumber? Also a fruit

Yeah

Berries my dude

Both of them

This conspiracy goes deep

image

(Source: knowwhatimeme, via not-the-conversation-starter)

33,114 notes1 year ago

brainstatic:

We naturally put millionaires and billionaires in the same general class of person, but the only reason to do that is because the words are similar. Since these aren’t numbers we can actually visualize, it’s important to understand what a billion of something is. To travel a million inches, you’d have to travel from the Southern-most tip of Manhattan and go to the Bronx. To travel a billion inches, you’d have to fly from New York to Shanghai twice. A million seconds is a little over 11 days. A billion seconds is nearly 32 years. A million ounces is about the weight of a train car. A billion ounces is 4.5 Eiffel Towers. Use these to conceptualize what the difference between a millionaire and a billionaire is, and the absurd amount of wealth we’re talking about.

(via timurmurtazin)

150,377 notes1 year ago

(Source: dezaki, via ladyfubuki)

373 notes1 year ago

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: so you made it back to the main level of this bar, and you see the royal soldiers dragging genevieve, the child you accidentally kidnapped, out of the door. what do you do?

half-elven gunslinger: i’m running after them!

DM: no can do, the bar is literally full of peasants drinking off a hard day of work, you could never get around them in time to catch up with the soldiers

halfling monk: uhhh i hop up on the nearest table and give an inspirational speech to the peasants about overcoming their struggles! as peasants!

halfling monk (OOC): they probably hate the ruling class right. they’re peasants

DM: roll

halfling monk (OOC) : NAT 20

DM, mouth open in shock: you manage to incite the peasants into a riot and they turn upon the soldiers, allowing you to grab genevieve and get out

LATER, after escaping to the docks and being stopped by a group of dwarves ship hands 

halfling monk: you know what they get a speech too

DM: hold on, give us the speech for real before you roll, i want to see what you’d come up with

halfling monk: sure! [begins beatboxing the american national anthem, until the rest of us join in singing along]

DM: well that was silly, roll to see if it worked at all

halfling monk: NAT 20

DM: my friend, i believe that you have started a revolution. and the dwarves are ready to help

(via timurmurtazin)

2,510 notes1 year ago