I didn’t ask your opinion I said I cast thunderwave

yourplayersaidwhat:

5 players enter a room with 12 kobolds.

Barbarian*Deals little damage on first turn.*
Druid*runs out into the middle of the room, punches their fists together* Boom *casts thunderwave and kills everyone in the room. Including knocking down allies.*

Everyone else: DONT DO THAT IM IN RANGE YOULL KILL ME
Druid: I didn’t ask how many of my allies were in range I said I cast thunderwave.

(via silver-tongues-blog)

3,371 notes5 years ago

(via voca-lee)

199,198 notes5 years ago
cameoappearance:
“ jumpingjacktrash:
“ the45thpresidentialruger:
“Never talk to me or my 42 trees again
”
it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a...

cameoappearance:

jumpingjacktrash:

the45thpresidentialruger:

Never talk to me or my 42 trees again

it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a windbreak, your heating and cooling bills are huge, and storms do things like throw the lawnmower through the living room window, take the roof off, or cake the entire north side of the house with six inches of solid ice.

evergreens remain bendy even in the coldest weather, so – wait, no, not the coldest. i remember when i was a kid it got down to like -45 and the norway pines around my house were cracking like gunshots as the sap froze.

maples, incidentally, make that noise around -20f, and i hear it at least once every winter here in southern minnesota. but i only ever heard norway pines make it that one time.

so anyway that’s why we plant pine trees around our houses. because otherwise the wind would freaking kill us.

This is informative and perfectly sensible under the circumstances but I also cannot resist the temptation to compare it to planting stuff all around the boundary of your lot in The Sims

(via kittytishers)

340,876 notes5 years ago
tigerbun:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ brookietf:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ papiomikes–warehouse:
“ booksandghosts:
“ jesters-armed:
“ surfandbefree:
“Australia summed up in one tweet
”
@booksandghosts :D
”
Australia is a silly...

tigerbun:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

brookietf:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

papiomikes–warehouse:

booksandghosts:

jesters-armed:

surfandbefree:

Australia summed up in one tweet 

@booksandghosts  :D

Australia is a silly place

@lametvboy

@brookietf pls tell the doggos to stop eating the sharks

Dingos stop eating sharks!! It is mean and they are friends not food ESPECIALLY FOR DOGS and also it’s killing the romantic mood for the snakes!

<3 THANK U FRIEN <3

Dingos

HEED HER WORDS

leave the sharks alone

@theatomicpsychotic 

wtf why is the road so close to the ocean

(via eric-coldfire)

28,139 notes5 years ago

tharook:

geekandmisandry:

wideopenhighway:

neverblogidly:

geekandmisandry:

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

My boyfriend would be gettin’ hit with the baseball bat beside our bed if he ever woke up and said, “What is he normally?” about himself.

Then you would NOT have liked the time he pointed to a corner of our room while he was sleeping and said “they share a dimension with Earth and they take cats to eat them”.

I absolutely do not like that.

(via kittytishers)

488,222 notes5 years ago

lovemesomecass94:

setheverman:

theworldaccordingtotimmycap:

setheverman:

setheverman:

when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia

ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET

Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia

Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket

image

Originally posted by briansfancies

(via kittytishers)

428,665 notes5 years ago

systemshocker:

just ate an orange… no scurvy for me thank you… #NoScurvy

(via jasminesworld)

81,039 notes5 years ago

(via funfetti-cakke)

4,056 notes5 years ago
yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:
“ countersignal:
“ glutko:
“Seymour Skinner has been dead for eight years
”
I don’t like that
”
as we gather here today to cherish his memory, let us never forget that though some may call him an odd fellow, he steamed a good...

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

countersignal:

glutko:

Seymour Skinner has been dead for eight years

I don’t like that

as we gather here today to cherish his memory, let us never forget that though some may call him an odd fellow, he steamed a good ham

(via sakimcgee)

18,678 notes5 years ago

dukeofbookingham:

charlesoberonn:

ghouligangirl:

Guys, I don’t really know or care if the Paris catacombs are haunted, but I need to know more about this:

image

@scp-wiki-official

I can actually elaborate on this, because last time I toured the catacombs we had a delightful guide who was a very enthusiastic PhD student and this was, apparently, partly what he was doing his dissertation on. (I talked to him for a while one-on-one; we bonded over the sweet hell that is graduate school.) Anyway, according to him, there was this weird artsy quasi-anarchist amateur-spelunking group that used to throw these very illegal parties down in the catacombs. This, of course, isn’t safe at all because (1) parts of the catacombs are not structurally sound and you risk suffocating or being crushed to death, and (2) they’re damn near impossible to navigate if you don’t know what you’re doing. As in multiple people have literally died of thirst before finding their way out–one of whom finally collapsed a bare twenty meters from the exit, which he couldn’t see because it’s so infernally dark. How’s that for shitty, shitty irony? 

Anyway, after stumbling across little bits of evidence that people were exploring the out-of-bounds areas of the catacombs and leaving like, a few cigarette butts and empty bottles behind, the Paris police issued a stern cease-and-desist basically saying, “STOP DOING THAT YOU COULD ALL DIE” and this one group basically said, “Bitch make us” and proceeded to get more and more ostentatious with their bizarre subterranean Magic-Theatre soirees, just to prove that they knew the catacombs better than anybody else and there was pretty much nothing the authorities could do to stop them. The electricity thing in itself isn’t really that mysterious because anywhere you could fit a makeshift movie theatre you could also bring the generators to run it (so long as they’re not gas-powered, because underground that would probably mean carbon monoxide poisoning…not that safety was the first priority here). It would be a hassle, but doable. That’s not the good part. The good part is that not only did they illegally set up an entire movie theatre in the tunnels under the city of Paris, but they left it there just to taunt the authorities. Eventually this kind of stuff stopped. Nobody really knows why except the pranksters themselves, I suppose, but literally only in Paris do you get a troupe of drama queens as epic as they are unapologetically petty. 

(via timurmurtazin)

44,818 notes5 years ago