turing-tested:

turing-tested:

sorry for being ornery on main I can’t manage to open this one dollar jar of pickles and it’s making me really dysphoric right now

what am i fucking doing?? i have a sword for christ’s sake

(via timurmurtazin)

How Loki should have survived…

luxury-loki:

Loki, being strangled by Thanos: *Whispers* harder daddy.

Thanos, dropping him: Bitch what the f-

(via demilypyro)

goth-shitposts:

dont be a slave to the limitations of Halloween, be a macabre bitch every day

(via jinglejangleurshitupbro)

wvnderbar:

“may” contain nudity? either it does or it doesn’t don’t waste my fucking time

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

zarekthelordofthefries:

prokopetz:

Media sometimes uses a snarky butler as a sign of a weak or ineffectual employer, but man, if I had that kind of money, I’d pay extra for a butler who was quick-witted enough to just burn me to the ground at a moment’s notice.

This is the principle behind medieval jesters

(via not-the-conversation-starter)