yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: so you try to cut the vines of the cobra flower but they’re too thick
Me: *ooc* they’re thick….? How many c’s?
Person trapped by cobra flower: *ooc* seriously? That’s what you’re asking???
DM: idk like 2?
Me: great it’s Thicc

*later*

DM: you get to a giant tree, with its thick trunk-
Me: imma stop you right there, how many c’s
Previous person: oh dear god no
DM: it’s thiccccc with 5 c’s

(via kitana-coldfire)

yourplayersaidwhat:

we’re in a shop. the party are arguing over the rogue’s theft of a brooch from a kindly old lady NPC. the warlock and the druid are trying to wrestle it out of his grasp. the bard walks over to the shopkeep while all this is happening. 

bard, pulling out a handful of coins: i’m already expecting one of them is going to break something, so can i pay in advance?

shopkeep: … please don’t break things

bard: i know we shouldn’t break things but i also know they will break things because that’s how my morning has gone

(via kitana-coldfire)

v1als:

like you do you and all but i don’t get eatin ass. i just wouldn’t be able to trust ass eaters ever again in matters of taste like “oh wow this lasagne you made tastes great” like u eat ass how can i trust this?? “u gotta try this restaurant it’s amazing” oh what they sellin?? ass du jour?

(via timurmurtazin)

sarcasmprodigy:

egberts:

bahorelfanclub:

why are there bruises on my knees

i snuck into your house while you were sleeping and used one of those doctor reflex tester hammers to beat the shit out of your knees specifically

AU where.

(via timurmurtazin)

“daisy is so irrelevant”

mariowiki:

rabbidpeach:

rabbidpeach:

if that were true, then how would you explain…this?

this is her final smash

Daisy shoots out Marth’s knees and takes his wallet

(via sakimcgee)