how the fuck do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? I got out of bed once and i’ve been exhausted ever since.
You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself
Best advice ever
(Source: swamp-roo, via kittytish101)
Last night I said a lich that wanted to prevent their lawful good enemies from killing them could make their phylactery an innocent person. This morning, I realized that might prevent heroes from killing them, but the lich would want to make sure the person didn’t die of other causes. Which led me to imagine this completely unassuming villager having the world’s most evil fairy godmother.
This is a warlock patron (specifically, the Undying)
(via timurmurtazin)
new cryptid: tumblr users who have never changed their url
…fuck you
ok of all the weird comments on this post …….this is the most haunting
you come into my house, and you insult my brand recognition
He that boy
(via timurmurtazin)
Me: You’ll be fighting the Butcher
My Players: We must become friends with this person
Me: the blacksmith, a literal demon, takes a montrous bite from the whole pig in his hand.
My Players: we must adopt him. He is our uncle now.
Me: The hand is mummified and gross and undead, it tries to attack you because it used to belong to a murderer.
Party rogue: It’s my pet now and I will lotion it until it loves me.
Me: You are standing on a Rug of Smothering
Party Cleric: I’m gonna tear off a piece of it and keep it as a pet.Update: They did, in fact, make friends and now half the party wants the Butcher to become a Demi-God
This is all very good and real, but I think you’re missing the most important part, which is when half of them decide on a whim to hurl Good King Lovespuppies out the nearest window
Party sees some monster: baby, baby boy
Party sees kind and benevolent npc: i dont trust like that
A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It’s the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never tell when they’re going to do something incredibly stupid. -Cpt Jack Sparrow
My players adopted a Goblin, an Owlbear and a Hobgoblin Vigilante, my Rogue went through the Monster Manual and made a list of things she wants to adopt. She wants a Gelatinous Cube but like, “a smol one” no Ranger I have ever DM’d for was this bad :))
(via kalianos)
Characters in first-person games never blink.
they blink when you blink stupid
(Source: reddit.com, via zealeon-deactivated20190405)
Yall remember that game where u could date the fuckin prince from Katamari???? Yall remember that shit? And some of those homestuck fuckers?
WELL I DO NOW, SO THANKS FUCK
Intimacy is beyond kisses and cuddles and sex. Intimacy is getting a headache and taking a nap, and waking up to your laundry folded and your partner rubbing your back. Intimacy is crying and yelling at night about your past to someone who listens and comforts you. Intimacy is watching shows in your pjs for hours and eating pizza together and being able to communicate love through holding hands. It’s never running out of conversation but doing it anyways to enjoy silence.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intimacy was defined by my health teacher as: Being able to feel vulnerable with someone while still feeling safe.
(via perelka-l)




