adurot:

conspicuouslad:

F’kin magnets

Nope, I call shenanigans. 

Well that better be a collect call because this shit’s legit

(via adurot)

3,812 notes8 years ago

flashiestlightning:

Just a little thing that sounded more funny before I doodled it

The mare in the doodle belongs to Gearholder ( http://gearholder.tumblr.com/ )

yes - w-

27 notes8 years ago

cassieblack:

arineat:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. “Make me”,
  2. “oh really”,
  3. “is that so”

“prove it”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Wanna bet?”

“Scared, Potter?”

“Throw in a picture of wolf-job, Barry”

(via little-innsmouth-inn)

1,771,467 notes8 years ago
facts-i-just-made-up:
“hashingtoelesslancers:
“ facts-i-just-made-up:
“ Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would like to apologize for its recent publicity stunt in which 400 acres of the Amazon were bulldozed in order to write an ironic, humorous fake factoid...

facts-i-just-made-up:

hashingtoelesslancers:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would like to apologize for its recent publicity stunt in which 400 acres of the Amazon were bulldozed in order to write an ironic, humorous fake factoid about deforestation.

Unlike the recent computer generated stunt by Paddy Power, FIJMU wanted to present authenticity by actually demolishing our diminishing natural resources and knowingly displaced over 50,000 animals and 2 native tribes, and approximately 70 tons of non-biodegradable waste was produced and distributed into the jungle. 7 nature preservation engineers were also killed, just for the hell of it.

We realize now that this was a mistake, and like B.P. before us have made amends with a $20 donation to Goodwill of Michigan.

I wonder how much bullshit this account is going to get for this…..

(via facts-i-just-made-up)

1,800 notes8 years ago
djthedemon:
“ calm the fuck down ross
”

djthedemon:

calm the fuck down ross

(via pencil-rebagels)

1,285 notes8 years ago

(via nomiros-deactivated20190302)

433,156 notes8 years ago

lizzymodblog:

Everyday, stand in front of the mirror, nude. Keep standing there, checking yourself out, until you’re fully convinced you’re a hot piece of ass.

Pro-tip: Stop if you start feeling aroused instead of confident. It leads to terrible things you have to explain if you get caught.

“orz

(via )

36 notes8 years ago

yuki-menoko:

This is my favourite video of all time

(via pencil-rebagels)

150 notes8 years ago
okagami:
“ notcuddles:
“ fennekincrossing:
“ givemeinternet:
“ SEA IS FOR COOKIE!
”
please leave
”
what perfection this is
”
If it’s good enough for him then it’s good enough for me
”

okagami:

notcuddles:

fennekincrossing:

givemeinternet:

SEA IS FOR COOKIE!

please leave

what perfection this is

If it’s good enough for him then it’s good enough for me

(via zicygomar)

194,586 notes8 years ago
facts-i-just-made-up:
“ Cockfruit is one of the most infamous fruits that grows in Brazil.
Though its flavor is said to be sublime, there are few who would eat the fruit publicly owing to its shape. A social stigma also applies to those who would buy...

facts-i-just-made-up:

Cockfruit is one of the most infamous fruits that grows in Brazil.

Though its flavor is said to be sublime, there are few who would eat the fruit publicly owing to its shape. A social stigma also applies to those who would buy and dice the fruit for less obscene eating, as their act resembles castration.

That’s all changing with the creation of self contained fields and factories that grow and process the fruit into juice or snacks all behind an opaque wall where citizens of the predominantly Catholic country needn’t see the salacious ripened foodstuffs.

Cockfruit is named for its first proponent, Johnny Cockfruitseed, who traveled the world planting cockfruit trees. He is currently under arrest on obscenity charges.

Unbeknownst to the Brazilian government, many private investors have gotten hold of these exotic fruits in the black market and currently successfully grow their very own plants in clandestine farmlands all across Venezuela, Peru, Guatemala and Mexico, where the climate has shown to be mostly favorable to the growth of a sweeter, albeit somewhat spicy variety of cockfruit.

(via facts-i-just-made-up)

3,961 notes8 years ago