Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
Everyday, stand in front of the mirror, nude. Keep standing there, checking yourself out, until you’re fully convinced you’re a hot piece of ass.
Pro-tip: Stop if you start feeling aroused instead of confident. It leads to terrible things you have to explain if you get caught.
“orz
SEA IS FOR COOKIE!
please leave
what perfection this is
If it’s good enough for him then it’s good enough for me
(via zicygomar)
Cockfruit is one of the most infamous fruits that grows in Brazil.
Though its flavor is said to be sublime, there are few who would eat the fruit publicly owing to its shape. A social stigma also applies to those who would buy and dice the fruit for less obscene eating, as their act resembles castration.
That’s all changing with the creation of self contained fields and factories that grow and process the fruit into juice or snacks all behind an opaque wall where citizens of the predominantly Catholic country needn’t see the salacious ripened foodstuffs.
Cockfruit is named for its first proponent, Johnny Cockfruitseed, who traveled the world planting cockfruit trees. He is currently under arrest on obscenity charges.
Unbeknownst to the Brazilian government, many private investors have gotten hold of these exotic fruits in the black market and currently successfully grow their very own plants in clandestine farmlands all across Venezuela, Peru, Guatemala and Mexico, where the climate has shown to be mostly favorable to the growth of a sweeter, albeit somewhat spicy variety of cockfruit.
(via facts-i-just-made-up)
can we start a club for teenagers who were constantly complimented on their intelligence when they were younger and are now having trouble coping with the realization that they’re actually of average intellect at best
can this club have a support person that helps us to study because we didn’t need to before so we don’t know how to now
(via wicked-thornes)
Scram pls explain.
Well… You see…
>///<
tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk
It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.
It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.
It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.
It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…
its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…
it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.
It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race
It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”
Maybe it’s Maybelline
(via hobbsmeerkat)