Live and Love under Patooties' peculiar light
WARNING: After listening to this you will not be able to enjoy the official version any more. Thrust me man it was a bad idea clicking this 5 months ago “orz
(Source: delicateribbonbunny.storenvy.com, via siebewastaken)
This is still the best response anyone could have given to this question.
toilet water is cold
a treu Sagan always sprinkels when he dinkels conrad.
Let’s turn today into a day of cooking why the hell not
Fair.
Still kinda want to see you do one.
I would buy a recipie book laden with dittoprize’s swearing. It’d get me pumped everytime I put on the apron!
Also, check out “What the Fuck Should I Have for Dinner”. I think they got published!
Coming soon to a book store near you:
Cooking for Fucking Morons
(Near you if you’re European, that is. Otherwise, too bad, ya twat. Guess you’re not learning how to cook. Guess you’re starving to death. Ohhh no.)
Featuring amazing recipes such as
- a cake filled with a fuckload of bananas
- a banana filled with a fuckload of cake
- the kind of vegetable that counts as a fire hazard
- the salad that causes diabetes
- the candy that cures diabetes
- the soufflé that rises straight through your ceiling, thus causing a shitton of property damage but nevertheless you still feel it was worth it because holy shit that thing was delicious
- edible shit, to serve to people who you think should eat shit. (may contain traces of shit)
- chicken that tastes like strawberries
- dynamite flambé
- some actual recipes that ditto uses in her day-job as a chef in a restaurant
- a lifetime prison sentence for poisoning your boss, who came over to have a friendly dinner and talk about your future
- the gordon-ramsay-wet-dream apple fritter
- a correctly peeled banana
- haggis that tastes like ass
- but all haggis tastes like ass
- aye, but in the right hands it can taste like some mighty fine ass
- humpty dumpty’s violently assaulted corpse
- a scarf made using chopsticks
- boy-attracting milkshakes
- dogs so hot they are literally on fire
- the edible swan ice sculpture (may contain actual swan)
ORDER NOW OR GET PUNCHED IN THE DICK
BUT WAIT!!
If you call in the next 5 minutes we will include a special edition cardboard Scootoaster!! That’s right, your very own orange shitty toaster made entirely out of cardboard!!
Every Hat in TF2 by AshleyLange [x]
Otherwise entitled “How to annoy everybody’s Tumblr dash”
Do you love the colour of the hat?
(Source: ashleylange.deviantart.com, via )
And now, for my next analogy you shall be playing the role of Homer while I’ll be playing the role of the Estonian Dwarf, and your hearts will be playing the role of that rock on the ground there. Ready, go! ; w;
