pencil-rebagels:

nothing like a chocolate cookie with mayo cream sandwich

alak-cool:

DM, while I’m in combat: “Give me a perception check.”

Me: “Uh, 14?”

DM: “Nevermind.”

Me:

(Source: cappurrccino, via conspicuouslad)

help-mywife:

help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

(via sakimcgee)