yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: so you try to cut the vines of the cobra flower but they’re too thick
Me: *ooc* they’re thick….? How many c’s?
Person trapped by cobra flower: *ooc* seriously? That’s what you’re asking???
DM: idk like 2?
Me: great it’s Thicc

*later*

DM: you get to a giant tree, with its thick trunk-
Me: imma stop you right there, how many c’s
Previous person: oh dear god no
DM: it’s thiccccc with 5 c’s

(via kitana-coldfire)

yourplayersaidwhat:

we’re in a shop. the party are arguing over the rogue’s theft of a brooch from a kindly old lady NPC. the warlock and the druid are trying to wrestle it out of his grasp. the bard walks over to the shopkeep while all this is happening. 

bard, pulling out a handful of coins: i’m already expecting one of them is going to break something, so can i pay in advance?

shopkeep: … please don’t break things

bard: i know we shouldn’t break things but i also know they will break things because that’s how my morning has gone

(via kitana-coldfire)