retroactiveeurydices:

oxheadandhorsefacearedead:

retroactiveeurydices:

koalatea:

i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut 

12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.

explain how

money can be exchanged for goods and services

A boyfriend can get you 12 million if you try hard enough and have the proper surgical training

(via inuleeli)

dnapparition:

Okay so crows have their own language and all, and apparently smarter birds have a sense of humor. 

do murders of crows have like… inside jokes.

Are there crow memes

Please tell me there are crow memes

(Source: dnacademic, via budaclees)

vigaishere:

missymagius:

relationship goals

And when you grow up…

(via kitana-coldfire)

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via nomiros-deactivated20190302)

lizzymodblog:

Why is no one interesting ever online at this hour?

American school, american jobs, australian bedtime who knows - .-

(via )