Me, on a date: “So, what are your thoughts on the dress?”
My date: “Actually, I came here to audition for the role of Pluto and I will be singin-”
Me, immediately shoving breadsticks into purse: “I’m sorry I have to go home immediately…”
My date: Okay… That sounds fake but okay.
Me, gorging breadsticks into my mouth as I head out of the door: “Ugh these breadsticks are a beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure…”
By Fallout Boy
Throw a list of the Zodiac signs as breadsticks in there and it will be 100% complete.
Me: This year I lost my best friend
Them: Quit telling people I’m- JOHN CENA
gun
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