newnamed: These jokes are so funny I'm crying. I need a Tearholder.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato, cut into 17 slices, each one put inside a specially casted titanium container.
Subject: Bingogona.
Result: Units were exposed to pun one at a time, with 15 minutes of separation each. All of them clocked at an initial 283 mph but were noticed to decrease in velocity at a constant rate of approximately 1 inch per square second until they stopped altogether. Retrieved and used for second testing, which yielded no reaction.

Okay so the things can’t be encased or they definitely won’t reach the target. Find me in the outs, 6 tomatos remain - _-

catgirlfrottage: i think luka is superior to miku

Anonymous: You are suddenly in the vagina zone. what do?

Engage Foundation Protocol for Extradimensional Allocation Code: Theta-33, and commence probing for SCP classification, with the appropriate documentation of my findings, which must then be secured for future use by Foundation personnel who may encounter the so called “Vagina Zone” in the event that I perish before being able to deliver the files to competent authority._.

It’s standard procedure .-.