funfetti-cakke-talks: 40,000 yen

Money entered: 500 yen. Testing with full quantity denied by orders from O5.
Item description: “Enchiladas Negras de Doña Lola”, 4 corn tortillas in an EPS plate with plastic wrapping, covered in a black sauce. The food was warm upon retrieval, and sampling revealed the sauce to be slightly spicy, and made of cuitlacoche and other unidentified ingredients, while the tortillas were filled with melted cheese and black beans.

Packaging in Spanish, only on a sticker on the plastic foil, reveals [DATA EXPUNGED]

thegoddamnowl: I got 430 yen, now gimme :Y

Money entered: 430 yen
Item description: [Unknown] A seemingly empty, porcelain cup with a square handle. Filling it with 200 ml of water triggered an endothermic chemical reaction which transmuted it into a steaming cup of coffee. Test subject reported it to be bitter, and sugar was provided upon request. No anomalous properties observed.

frosty-mage-stuff: 500 yen, lesgo.

Money entered: 500 yen
Item description: “Porn Flakes - Frosted”, plastic bowl of corn-based cereal, noted to come from [REDACTED], Canada. Packaging in both English and French. Instructions indicate need for consumer to just add water. Testing proves that upon consumption the subject experiences desire to engage in erotic activities. Warning: Only for ages 18 and up.

Notes: The Canadians mass-producing aphrodisiacs, who would’ve though…

deeceeoh: Fine, here's ¥1200. What did I get?

Money entered: 1200 yen
Item description: “Golden Crab Sandwich” a sandwich wrapped in paper. Packaging in Danish, only containing philosophical quotes from Danish writers, aside from the name of the food in a larger font.

Rye bread, crab meat of an unknown species fried to a crisp, minced parsley leaves and onion are mixed in, and a fried egg of unknown species on top of it, covered in a white wine sauce and topped by the other half of rye bread. Chemical analysis confirms all ingredients are safe for consumption.

whatevenisaquid: 1981 yen.

Money entered: 1981 yen
Item description: “Pepsi Spirit” an aluminium can apparently containing 10 fl oz of an unknown fluid. Upon opening, the fluid came out from the can and flowed through the air until it entered researcher █████████ ██████’s nostrils completely, causing slight headache for the researcher.

Flavor reported as that of regular pepsi, and fluid confirmed to have moved from the researcher’s nostrils into the mouth for tasting, from which it then traveled to the stomach. The fluid seems to have been absorbed almost immediately into the researcher’s body through the esophagus and stomach walls. No other secondary effect observed.

theurlgoeshere: Here's 1000 yen, I'll take something.

Just a foreword: Due to safety concerns, all tests will be performed with the machine being powered u .u

Money entered: 1000 yen
Item description: Provolone & Pepperoni “Pocket-Hots”. A cardboard box contaning 12 rectangular pastries, approximately the size of a Poptart, in individual metallic foil wrapping.

Package in English instructs the consumer to put a piece inside one’s pocket and let the body heat warm it up. Testing confirms the wrapping conducts and retains heat for this purpose, allowing the “Hots” to be eaten fresh out of the “Pocket” [sic].

Temperature of the box at retrieval of -12ªC indicates storage is done in refrigeration.

thegoddamnowl: Bueno, tambien pensaba en SCP-087 con bubis grandes, pero luego me vino a la mente bubis grandes con SCP-087... con bubis grandes. Y un pequeño bonus de un taco vertical de marisco con bubis grandes (el marisco tambien tienen bubis grandes)... en bubis grandes :Y

87 is the stairs ya dingus, just HOW high do you even have to BE just to SAY something like that…………..