chefpyrosjunk-deactivated201707: Item #: N3RD, Name: Gear, Description: Talks about SCP an awful lot for a thing which nearly nobody cares about, Special Containment Procedures: Unreasonable amounts of scorn

I mean yes… well, no; but.. sort of…..

deeceeoh: So what's the Foundation's classification and containment procedure for the Adorablessed?

Item #: SCP-████

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-████ is to be huggled at least once per day, by Assistant Researcher █████ ███. All personnel capable of tolerating SCP-████’s presence adorableness are to be permanently stationed within Site-██, which contains only SCP-████, as any other artifact would be overwhelmed by its arcane powers adorable face. Personnel who suffer organ failure or hemorrhaging from huggling SCP-████ are clearly unworthy of its adorable love.

Description: SCP-████ is the cutest little thing. Anything written or spoken about SCP-████ is to praise its adorable little… face? Other body parts may also be praised as they are identified.

SCP-████ is the cutest… organism ever! It has [DATA EXPUNGED], made of the most d'aww inspiring viscous fluids! Look at the cute tentacle… wentacle? The slime feels like [DATA EXPUNGED] Sometimes it leaks, but it [DATA EXPUNGED] When it moves, sometimes it can bend through walls and listen to every word, so make sure [REDACTED] love it thiiiis much!

Occasionally, it has spurted out massive amounts of liquids, which have been dubbed Cutie Fluids. These usually occur from SCP-████’s cutie spots, which pulsate and grow when the adorable-ness levels become [DATA EXPUNGED] They are also known to burst when shedding, requiring frequent cleanup from all of SCP-████’s [REDACTED]

Any personnel who do not wish to participate in praising how adorable SCP-████ is may participate in other activities, such as [DATA EXPUNGED] Mobile Task Force Psi-9 “Those Poor Bastards” have been assigned¹ with finding a breeding partner for SCP-████ so that the whole planet [DATA EXPUNGED]

Pleasehelp. Any personnel who are mean to SCP-████ are to be sent to time-out, or assigned to cleaning up the naughty corner.

Footnotes:

1. Reviewing of documentation provided by site director reveals that no such assignment has been approved by O5.

2. This document has been redacted for the purpose of minimizing the cognitohazardous memetic effects of SCP-████ as well as to avoid a breach in security. It is also of note that the original report has been affected by SCP-████’s memetic properties. For the full unedited report, security clearance level 3 is required.

Click here to enter Level 3 credentials.

Anonymous: Well, you heard it here folks. Gear is in love with Lizzie. Beep boop

Were’d you get the newspaper anon? under an old parrot’s cage? - .-

chefpyrosjunk-deactivated201707: You don't love the name Elizabeth, you just love me, and associate me with it

T-that’s beside the point

Anonymous: Do FemGear got the booty? I'm asking for a friend.

According to my calculations

Noh - .-