mythic-swirl: One ornamental sterling silver dagger, labled Werewolf Slayer.

Input: One (1) ornamental sterling silver dagger, labled Werewolf Slayer.

Setting: 1:1

Output: One (1) ornamental tanto knife, labeled Tengu’s Bane.

that-goddamn-owl: what about a JoJo? what if I put in there a person? :y

Request denied by O5′s █ and █

deeceeoh: I'd like to re-institute biological testing in 914.

Request denied by O5-█.

snakelovingnerd: i would like to put in a gameboy classic :V no games

Input: One (1) Game Boy classic, no game cartridge, no batteries.

Setting: 1:1

Output: One (1) 8-bit portable game console labeled “Pocket Monster Go!”, in japanese. No game cartridge nor batteries. The model does not correspond to any system produced by Nintendo and the cartridge slot doesn’t fit any current known game cartridges.

that-goddamn-owl: Can I put a yoyo on 914?

Input: One (1) plastic yoyo.

Setting: 1:1

Output: One (1) plastic spinning top, rope included.

“Just leave the default setting as 1:1 if left unspecified.” - Site Director E. Gere.

theurlgoeshere: Gear, I wanna run the Space Jam Soundtrack through 914 on Fine.

Input: One (1) cassette tape containing the soundtrack for the movie “Space Jam”

Setting: Fine

Output: Five (5) tickets for a concert to be held in the United Center stadium, dated for [DATA EXPUNGED]. The concert features all of the artists who took part in the soundtrack for the movie. The meaning behind the number of tickets is under discussion.

omegaresnovae: I have an item I wish to submit to The Foundation as well. It's this off-white slab of marble, flecked through with bits of what looks to be quartz, 50 cm x 50 cm square, 20 mm thick. It's harder than Mohs-10, having resisted being scratched with a diamond; however, that hasn't stopped someone from carving the words "Tabula Rasa" into in it in facsimile of Classic Roman font. As you can imagine, I'm somewhat loath to touch it.

Fuck that, let’s put it into 914 - .-

Input:  50x50x2 cm slab of marble, with latin “Tabula Rasa” inscription in glyphic font.

Setting: 1:1

Output: 25x20x10 cm slab of dolomite, with english “Blank Slate” insciption in neo-grotesque font.

“No, we cannot keep hard stuff contained at Site-██, too many jokes comparing it to male sexual organs on behalf of the researchers. It’s a wonder we still have those last 5 tomatoes around.” - Site Director E. Gere.