ask-lola-cloudmaker: I insert clean and sparkly 500 yen for 4 different items
Item #1: “Love Stings” a pink plastic bag containing approximately 82 insect-like creatures resembling mosquitoes. Upon opening, the mosquitoes swarmed around the subject and bit him a total of 174 times. Any mosquito that the subject was able to splat while on his skin was reported to leave a slight cherry taste on the skin, as well as make the subject think less about the pain and instead think of his spouse. During debriefing, the subject continually requested permission to leave the site to visit his wife, repeating “please, I gotta tell her how much I love her!”.
Item #2: Strawberry jam-filled croissant, still warm, in paper wrapping.
Item #3: “4 the Go”, a 100ml bottle of energy drink containing high levels of caffeine and sugar. Test subject reported imperative need to run after drinking approximately 25 ml of the liquid and refused to drink any more, claiming to already be full.
Item #4: Small sarcophagus-like package containing the mummified remains of an unknown humanoid species, hinted to be alien in nature by the packaging. The box reads “Zebulon the Great. Teriyaki style.”
Anonymous: 1,234,567.89. yen.
