whatevenisaquid: Let's go with my b-day. 725¥ into the magic vending machine.

Item description: “[REDACTED]’s Bakery - Bona Fide Hagelslag”, a light-brown box containing two slices of white bread and two small plastic bags with chocolate sprinkles. Labelling in Dutch translates as “You fuckin make it then™, if you’re so god damn smart”.

Anonymous: Hey, could we try running one of 261's cans of STOP through 914 on 1:1?

Input: One (1) red aluminum can labelled “Stop That” in big block letters. Loud buzzing heard from within can as if coming from a large, angry insect.

Setting: 1:1

Output:  One (1) orange tin can labelled “Can you not” in big block letters. Loud scratching and growling heard from within can as if coming from a small, angry mammal. Can was not opened. 

funfetti-cakke-talks: 38 yen

Money entered: 38 yen
Item description: Pack of 2 kueh tutu pieces on pandan leaves. No labeling.

omegaresnovae: 500 Yen, please.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: One “Wonka” chocolate bar, with cashews. Package in French depicts a caricature of one “Wally Wonka” Wrapping contained a winning “Golden Ticket” for a tour of the factory on August 12th, 1942.

Despite the dating, the chocolate itself was not expired.

Anonymous: Clearly the only way to truly win Lizzy's heart is to become a cyborg yourself.

T-that can’t be true, that would imply there’s a sure direct way to her at all è//A//é

chefpyrosjunk-deactivated201707: imma fuck a cyborg and no amount of social disapproval can stop me.

Hm.. that’s a good argument…

Anonymous: do you still do teh SCP thing? :V

261 or 914?

Fuckit I’ll flip a coin.

Aaaand pan-dimensional vending is go.
Drop some yen in the askbox while I go draw a thing - .-

chefpyrosjunk-deactivated201707: you cannot impair my right to fuck a big ole titanium dong

AM I TO BE CHALLENGED!?! >:U