Breaking news from the Squid Research Lab: We’ve just received this exclusive photograph that shows a dinosaur marching onto the set of Futurama. This can only mean one thing: IT’S SPLATFEST TIME!
Beginning tomorrow, head to the Inkopolis Plaza to vote on our newest theme: Would you rather travel to the past or the future? We realize this is a tough decision, so we’ve made a pros and cons list for you to consider:
Past Pros:
Dinosaurs are totally sweet.
It’s easier to stay on your Paleo diet in the Paleolithic era.
Caveman fashion was pretty fresh, assuming The Flintstones is an accurate documentation.
Past Cons:
Dinosaurs might eat you.
No burgers OR pizza.
Your mom might ask you to be her date to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.
Future Pros:
Your best friend could be a robot.
Holodecks provide hours of entertainment, all without needing to leave your house!
Transportation potentially seems cooler: Rocketships? Scotty beaming you up?
Future Cons:
Robots might have gained intelligence and decided they’re not friendly.
What happens if your transporter makes a mistake and mixes you up with someone else? I think we’ve all seen The Fly enough times to know what could happen…
All food now comes in the form of an affordable and widely available pill, BUT IT’S ONLY AVAILABLE IN SQUID FLAVOR.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
