Today is an important day. Today the Tumblr community comes together to make what is possibly the most important decision of the entire day: who do we elect?
After much research and discussion, we’d like to make an official endorsement:
Mop 2016: Reliable and relatable. Pro-inventions. He has lungs, probably.
BREAKING: Mop scores major endorsement from @buzzfeed.
UPDATE: With 60% of precincts reporting, Deborah can now firmly claim the lead in this historic election. Trailing close behind is Mop, whose confidence appears to remain unshaken.
Pundits are atwitter over Mop and Deborah’s so-called “Ice Water Summit,” where the two contenders affirmed their willingness to work together should circumstances demand it. What this could mean for the race is unclear.
In third place is Wretched Tooth, who is now openly calling for a revolution among their supporters.
Rick remains in last place. He has so far ignored the growing outcry for him to drop out of the race, but this time, time may not be on Rick’s side.
BREAKING: BuzzFeed’s investigative news department has obtained a copy of @timefordeborah‘s birth certificate, which reveals she is in fact a salamander.
Readers: Would you vote for a salamander? Can BuzzFeed’s reporting be trusted? Sound off in the comments!
Anonymous: 乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ
