primesonic: So, I'll totally admit that Bowsette is rather sexy in a hot sorta way. But like, where did this all start? I may be turned on but I am also confused.
Okay, so in the New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe game coming out on the switch, they announced a power up, the Super-Crown that functions like an upgrade and transforms Toadette into a ?human? closely resembling peach, but with a few unique Toadette details kept over.
4 days ago, twitter use @aykk92 made a comic parodying the events of Mario Odyssey where Bowser gets hold of a Super Crown and…. also transforms into Peach, with a few distinct Bowser details remaining.
Seeing the perfect combination of feminine wiles, smug arrogant demeanour, and punky spikes, horns, and dark clothing, the entire internet correctly decided
that the combination was Super Hot.
Everything has spiraled out of control from there, as the greater community at large opens the cap on the untapped pool of latent Bowser lust previously only known to gay men and adventurous women really into the big angry turtle monster niche.
Now straight dudes and lesbians are all over it too. And it’s great.
“the untapped pool of latent bowser lust” is the most powerful phrase in the English language
i hate when people in movies/tv are reading ancient languages and they translate everything really smoothly and poetically, as if when people who study ancient languages aren’t consulting three different commentaries and sobbing profusely when we read
ok so like…. it says
“come you all into the deepest cavern, or maybe that’s fireplace, depends on usage, and having come may you give your…. treasures? Skin? Pants? I don’t know, something…. to the….. about-to-be-adored guy, that one who…. okay, he either causes earthquakes or sleeps a lot, I think this might be an idiom….”
“ok, sorry that took so long and i hate to disappoint but i’m still not entirely sure what it means, like, it could be something about a religious ceremony or it could be a dick joke. leaning towards dick joke, might be both. knowing the ancients, probably both. this could very well be an ancient dick temple and we should probably leave.”
Funnest part is when you get shit like this:
Why yes that is a text comprised of almost exclusively crocodile hieroglyphs.
We also can’t get a coherent translation because the grammar makes absolutely no sense. Participles and Participial statements all the way. Sobek who is Crocodile of Crocodopolis who advances the Crocodile for the Crocodiles….
The crocodile hieroglyph is also used to write sovereign and an adjective meaning power…so the text is suuuuuuuper confusing.
I can’t help but wonder if the crocodile hieroglyph text (which I never knew about, that is AMAZING) is the ancient equivalent of a sestina or another complex poem form. With the crocodile symbol meaning so many different things, and the result being so difficult to translate, it might make more sense as a poem or some other stylistically rigid text.
Either that, or it was the Egyptian equivalent of a student being made to write lines on the chalkboard.
I will not take the name of Lord Sobek in vain
I will not take the name of Lord Sobek in vain
I will not take the name of Lord Sobek in vain
I will not…“Shakes out chiseling hand” Take the name of Lord Sobek in vain….
Looks like an ancient shitpost to me.
mai nayme is hep and wen i wryt upon the wal so smooth and wite i bless the kynnge commend his akh but then get tyred and carve the croc
It’s the equivalent of “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”
Anonymous: WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE DOES THAT MEAN FEMGEAR IS JUST BROGEAR WITH THE CROWN THING??