Do not insert strange objects into your Pussies, it can and will lead to traumatic experiences and possible death.
i dont think the platypus exists
think about it. have you ever seen a platypus in real life? i haven’t. no one has.
something’s up.
and i suspect the government.
A platypus sucked my dick behind a movie theater
The Real National Treasure 📜
This is genuinely amazing thank you for this
(via pseudonymouslps)
“Did hurt like the devil”
“Well sure it did, there was a sizeable d*** in your your a***. I’d call that savage!”
This kills me XD
IM SCREAMING
(via pencil-rebagels)
me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet
sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD
(via crunchie-roll)



what the actual fuck happened to this show
(Source: indygunation, via not-the-conversation-starter)

Discord is going for the juggular
Not Now.
(Source: rook-the-bard, via not-the-conversation-starter)



