A kid at work has decided that they don’t want to play with the kitchen set, and don’t want to play Barbies, but would instead rather take the them-sized stove and the Barbie-sized stove and pretend that they’re mommy and baby stoves.
The baby stove is currently at stove school, which is for stoves.
The mommy stove is at work, and apparently makes soup for a living, which I know because this kid is has been chanting, “I MAKE SOUP AND I DO IT ALL DAY / EVERY SINGLE SOUP SECOND, EVERY SINGLE SOUP WAY,” louder and louder and higher and higher to the point where it’s now either being sung by the world’s loudest mouse or the world’s most out-of-breath six-year-old.
Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.
“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”
Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.
No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.
A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.
Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.
How about a
tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?
OM NOM NOM NOM.
“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.
“But that’s not good enough!”
NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.
Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.
Country folk can survive
Dude stack those connexes up and you got a sweet home. Lived and worked outta one for a year.
Anonymous: Do you have a hat like the one in the picture?
