slimetony:

rcktpwr:

slimetony:

Totinos isnt moving forward with the sponsorship deal until I agree to post the phrase “I’m horny for pizza rolls”. I won’t go there. I won’t ever be publicly horny on the internet.

as a pretend lawyer randy i gotta point out that you have posted the phrase anyway. good news? cold hard totino cash. bad news? you gotta fuck a pizza

I sure chose the wrong hill to die on.

(Source: slimetony, via not-the-conversation-starter)

bad news bros

slimetony:

cake-full-of-fist:

slimetony:

girlfriend broke up with me because I’d screech and block the monitor with my hands every time I saw an ass while playing overwatch

Fake post, you don’t have a girlfriend randy

Not anymore she broke up with me because I’d get too horny playing overwatch

(Source: slimetony, via not-the-conversation-starter)