subtle:

what she says: im fine

what she means: what the fuck do they put in cologne to make it smell that fucking good what the fuck is that i fucking hate how i walk through a hallway and am instantly floored by some 5'6 nerdy bitch ass wearing good cologne like let me tell you i didnt spend years transforming myself into an independent goddess of a woman just to be instantly weakened by a fucking?? whatever the fuck they put in that shit

(Source: subtle, via crunchie-roll)

zedrin-maybe:

One thing that’s really foreign to me are novels written in present tense.

Like, most if not all the literature I grew up reading was in past tense, from 1984 to Animorphs.

All examples of YA writing I see nowadays however are written in present tense.

What caused the shift? When did the shift take place?

Immediacy. The present tense allows the author to convey a character’s change as it happens, not after the fact. In present tense, we are there with the narrator step by step as he changes, which leads to the story’s climax being both more immediate and intense.

Themeing and characterization. The fact that a character is facing the conflicts in “real time” makes for a situation in which the reader doesn’t have the benefit of knowing there is a future from which the story is being reminisced from. This removes the perceived safety of knowing the story has a favorable outcome and contributes to the immersion, twists are sudden and decisions seem harder.

Simplification. Past tense can employ most of the 12 tenses, while present only has 4 to deal with: the simple present, the present progressive, and a smattering of the simple past and the simple future. Using fewer tenses reduces our ability to convey the full complexity of time relationships, but a simple shift into the simple past when a flashback starts and then return to the present when it’s finished can solve this matter.

Basically, faster pacing and more intense settings… when used right that is, since some authors choose to include trivial events simply to keep the flow of time intact, as opposed to the past tense stories’ ability to skip those and favor the relevant points of the storyline.

lonniiii:

whoever i end up marrying is going to be lucky af cause i got so much love to give

(via ladyfubuki)

yournewfriendshouse:

katastrophic-kitten:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

im-an-octopus:

So i’m moving out on my own soon and my dad wants to make sure i know how to cook and he just called me downstairs and threw an apron at me and was like “WELCOME TO CHOPPED”

Ok my mystery ingredients are: canned potatoes, frozen spinach, frozen green beans, and tilapia

And he shoved them all under a cake platter so he could do a dramatic reveal

He keeps referring to himself as Tim Allen and idk if he’s trying to be funny or if he is just confused as to what Ted Allen’s name is

HE JUST YELLED “SUDDEN DEATH” AND PULLED A BAG OF WALNUTS OUT JFC DAD TED ALLEN WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME

Alright so we’re doing Walnut Crusted Tilapia on a Bed of Spinach with a side of Microwaved Green Beans and Canned Potatoes. Gourmet cooking at its finest.

He has been narrating everything I’ve done and whenever I’m about to fuck up he runs to the kitchen table and pretends to be a judge like “Interesting choice preheating the oven to 300°…I’d do it to 350°”

My dad told me I only have three minutes left but I think he said that three minutes ago so idk if he’s serious? IDKIDKIDK EVERYTHING IS A BLUR RN AND I HAVENT EVEN PLATED WHAT AM I DOING ON TUMBLR

Ok so apparently “throwing things on the plate in a panic” isn’t plating, but it tasted really good. Also, I didn’t get chopped, but my dog did because she wouldn’t stop barking at the neighbor.

I feel so accomplished and idk I think I’m ready for the actual show keep an eye out for me, guys

@sewer-druid

This is actually such great dadding

(via not-the-conversation-starter)