oooooooh im so mad for getting kicked out of wizard college oooooooooh im so mad i might cast destructive spells !!!!!!!
fuck!!!!!!
Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”
“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”
“NOOOOOOO!”
When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.
When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.
“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”
“NO! One two three!”
“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”
“Noooooo!”
Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”
My dad got good mileage out of, “I have eleven fingers! What do you mean, ten? Alright, I’ll prove it to you.” And then he’d count down from ten to count the fingers on one hand, pinkie to thumb, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, and as you know there are five fingers on each hand so I have five over here, and five plus six is eleven!”
I could tell SOMETHING was wrong, but the math did check out.
@asmuchasidliketo said:
@aethersea In French there are two words for “second”, so as a child our hands had four fingers each: the first, the second, the [other word for second], the third and the fourth.
that’s hilarious, I love that so much
(via kalianos)
Oh hell yes!!!!
I didn’t see the leash at first so I thought she was just hauling ass with her tiny little feet
@goat-yells-at-everything’s daughter
(via jinglejangleurshitupbro)
blowing my friends minds by letting them know the truth about tsuchinoko
real
(via takamoris)












